Thursday, September 8, 2011

Becoming Real

I apologize that I haven't updated for a while. I am really hoping to post fairly frequently to share everything that is going on. I have shared this site with people I care about, and that I want to make sure stay in the loop. I think it will be a great way to share with a lot of people at once, but so that everyone can still get a (mostly) clear idea of what is going on.

The past few weeks have been very busy trying to tie up loose ends before I move home for a few weeks. I've had appointments, road trips, time with family, time with friends... oh, and I've been working now and then too. About a month ago I began a very specific packing list (to hopefully help keep my bags light!), and I started actually putting things in my suitcase over the weekend. I have to take basically any clothes that I am going to want over the next year because I will be hard pressed to find my clothes or shoes in my size once I get to Japan. It's hard to anticipate everything I am going to need for a year, and to be able to fit it all in only two suitcases! I am trying to be as strategic as possible, but that includes only taking things that I know I will wear often. Coincidentally these are the things that I -- ahem -- wear often, so I can't pack them yet. You get my drift.

Somehow, even though I have been busy and working through various preparations, the move for the most part has not seemed real. I was so excited when I first got the position, but for the most part, the last month has pretty much been life as I've known it. I've settled back into a routine, and the thought of going to Japan seems like a hazy idea in a crazy dream from a long time ago. Until today, that is.

I'm not really sure why today was the day that sparked my attention, but I can only guess that it has partly to do with one (or both) of two things. One, the fact that tomorrow (eek!) is my last day at work. I have loved my job, my responsibilities, my company, my co-workers, and it is going to be very hard to say goodbye. Two, a friend who has been helping me prepare for Japan left for Japan toady. In fact, they are in route this moment, somewhere between Las Angeles and Tokyo. All summer we have talked together of when the time comes for us to (respectively) head to Japan, and I can't believe the time has come! I think being aware of that and experiencing that really caused things to sink in. I had butterflies in my stomach all day.

I am so excited. Nervous? -yes. Scared? -yes. But mostly I'm excited. I know that God has prepared these circumstances for me, and that he is orchestrating something incredible. The joy and confidence that He has placed in my heart is overwhelming, and it is overflowing to cover all of the doubts and fears that I have. These next few weeks will be very difficult, but I press on, focusing my eyes on what is ahead. I know that the Lord's plans are greater than mine could ever be, and he will take care of all of the worries that I may have.

Please pray for me as I pack and say my goodbyes. I hope to grace you with another update soon.

~ CSR

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